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How To Flirt with Germans in Berlin

May 12th, 2009

If you have ever visited Germany you have either heard or uttered one of the following complaints, “German women won’t talk to me!” or “German women are so cold!” or “German men never approach me” etc. Germans are ahem, special people, and they really do require their own style of interaction.

While German women are generally the harder of the two to engage in conversation, if they do show interest in you, they mean it. They will not waste their time flirting with anybody, as German men might do in order ‘to make friends.’

I combined my own experience with some intense flirtation discussions with Germans, and these are the conclusions. Here is a step-by-step guide of how to approach the person you’ve had your eye on in the bar.

1. Make eye contact and hold it. This seems like a no-brainer but this is NEVER a step Germans themselves will skip. In fact, this IS the epitome of’flirting’ for most Germans. German men love being approached by women by suprise since they so rarely are. I would say just go talk to them if you find them attractive, however if they are not interested it could be uncomfortable if you skip the eye contact step. German women are more likely to turn on the cold if you approach them without the necessary eye-forewarning.

2. Smile. A German man is accustomed to German women who won’t give him the time of day, even when they are interested. He will probably leap out of his chair to come speak to you if you do this, I kid you not. Throw the guy a bone. German women on the other hand might be put off by this kind of ‘forwardness’ but it is pretty much the only way to break the ice, unless you care to send some drinks their way beforehand. That probably will do you very little good anyway, although they might feel forced to speak to you briefly out of gratitude.

3. Wave them over or move in for the kill. For German men I suggest signaling them over with your hand while you two are holding eye contact. This might seem bold but they are shy creatures, and without encouragement will easily pass up an opportunity, no matter how interested they are. For German women I suggest moving over to talk to them. They will NOT respond to the wave over, and if you attempt it, prepare to be unpardonably ignored.

Tip 1: If you arrange to meet a German later on in a bar or club, they will probably bring friends even if you two don’t discuss it. Therefore I recommend doing the same.

Tip 2: When a German man asks for your number he means business, 90% of the time you will hear from him within 24 hours. He won’t call you he will text you, and use a lot of smily icons. A German woman you should text first though.

Tip 3: German men are kind of like doves, in that they are looking to mate for life. What you think might be a fling might mean much more to him. German women on the other hand might be looking for a fling, so beware expecting more.

Author: CA

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9 Responses to “How To Flirt with Germans in Berlin”

  1. klaas-jan says:

    good article’
    but german men are more like hawks then doves……at least the ones i have met in berlin…….but then again so are the women……!!!

  2. friedrichshain says:

    you’re right about the mating for life…however, if you’re a bit older (like me, tragically over the hill at 27) beware; if they are your age and not committed then they are almost inevitably an irredeemable player. still, not a problem if you’re only playing too, right?

  3. Cali2001 says:

    Good article and funny stuff, but so true (generally speaking).

    Especially liked the part about the eye-flirting. You win that you basically have won everything else with it… ^^

  4. Dino says:

    *Sigh* but it all sounds like so much hard work..

    My step #1 would be “Sign up to Facebook…”.
    Then sit back and relax.

    Just saves a whole lot of effort. And anyway.. if you keep meeting Germans who want to “mate for life”, then you need to stop hanging out in public libraries..

  5. RM says:

    You are so right on the eye-contact thing. Like I have heard that eyes are the window to a person’s soul, that line did not come from nowhere! ;-) And usually the eyes can say a whole lot more than spur-of-the-moment awkward banter.

    Anyway great tips, especially for women of a certain age, who are still in hot pursuit of the perfect dove… :-)

  6. bootpants says:

    Ah, how I miss the phone calls within 24 hours… There are some things that American men can learn from German men. Who needs this “wait 3 days before you call” nonsense? It just doesn’t make any sense to me. If you like someone you shouldn’t have to play games like that.

    Great article!

  7. ute says:

    now I know why I had to come to America to find my husband. haha. great article!!!!

  8. Tanya says:

    The eye contact thing is so true. I was living in Berlin for 6 months and I learned the little trick right around midway. Oh the first 3 months were so wasted in comparison.

    And also so true with the 24hours thing. I was kinda creeped out when the guys left a text or called the next morning being so used to American guys waiting the three day period. Eventually my jaded self faded a bit and it was a nice change.

  9. Halley says:

    I have to say, ladies, the eyes we are best at. A little glisten and they should be pouring into a successful cup of glory! XD
    Mmm, I adore German men…. I want one:((((((((((((((((

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